I've been thinking a lot about the horses lately, and it's occurred to me recently that maybe I have bitten off more then I can chew with them... I don't have as much time with the horses as I would like these days and with school coming up it's just going to get that much harder. The horses are my whole world and there is nothing I would love more then to become the rider I have always dreamed of being. I go to HITs and watch, I own a large collection of Eventing DVD's, I have my DVR set to record anything under the category of Equestrian. I watch all of these amazing teams, competing over meter 60 grand prix courses, doing canter pirouettes, jumping over solid tables that are wider then I am tall, and it makes me sad, it makes me question why I've put the last 24 years of my life into horses and haven't gotten any better, have never gotten past 2'3 jumps, have never ridden a cross country course or competed above a schooling level.
Then I look at my horses. I love them, I really do. But do I have the proper time to give them all what they need to get them all where they are capable of being? No, I don't. I have all of these goals for myself and the horses, but I also have school, I have work, I have dogs, and friends and a world outside of horses. Finding time for everything is difficult. Finding time for 4 horses is even more difficult. So I find myself at an impasse, do I try and make all of this work? Do I cut down on the number of horses I need to worry about? Do I give up my hopes of showing Penny and Rayna to focus on the much more promising horses I own in Albus and Jackson? Do I let Ollie be completely responsible for Penny and let Matt (who leases Rayna) be completely responsible for her until the time he doesn't want to lease her anymore? And then do I sell her?
There are so many unanswered questions and as I sit here typing I'm not really sure where do go from here. I don't know what to do. On Friday morning I'm trailing Jackson down to my trainers barn, she's going to ride him and see what she thinks and if he's worth continuing on with, I feel like he is, but he also makes me a bit nervous for absolutely no reason. Ugh I don't know where I'm going with this blog entry at this point so I'm just going to end it here...
You do what you feel you need to do and what is right for you. I know it's not much to go with but you will know what you need to do, just remember the heart isn't always right but neither is the brain- sometimes you just need both to work together to get the answers.
ReplyDeleteI would give Penny's reins to Ollie, Keep Rayna in the picture, as I feel she is your dream pony still, and make Albus that competition horse...and I'd give up Jackson if it seems he can go to a good home. I barely have time to ride ONE horse, nor the desire to most often, I think you do a good job of juggling things! Keeping yourself at one or two to focus on I think would cause less stress overall. Just my two cents. :P
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