That Infamous "Heart Horse"

All equestrians have heard the term "heart horse", the horse that is the equine equivalent of your soulmate/ That partner that you would do anything for. I have had many horses over the last 20+ years, and some of them felt like they could be my heart horse, a few of them were truly exceptional and I loved them very very much. But I didn't truly understand what finding your heart horse meant until the day that mine walked off of a trailer and right into my heart.

When I first decided to get a new horse, Albus was not what I thought I was looking for. I was dreaming of a tall, shiny bay warmblood or dappled grey sport horse that would be young and brave and well trained. My new horse and I would be competing over 2 ft courses by fall and showing beginner novice by the following spring. Instead what walked off that trailer was a big white ex carriage horse with no tail and no jumping experience. He was scared, abused, and 16 years old. When Albus arrived the sound of a whip would start him trembling, he would rather run away from me then let me on his back. The first time I took him to a horse show I learned that he is also terrified of other horses running up behind him. There were things he did that made me nervous for awhile, I won't lie. But the more time we spent together the more we have learned to trust each other. Last night for me was the proof that he is truly is everything I have ever asked for. I took him to a Christmas parade. It was a spur of the moment decision to bring him instead of my Clydesdale mare and he was amazing. It was dark and there were screaming kids, and other horses, and loud music and fire trucks and he just took it all in. The only issue we had was him getting cranky with me when I wouldn't let him trot!

This horse has shown me whats I've been missing with my other horses. He has given me confidence, he makes me want to go to the barn just so I can see his adorable face. I truly love this horse more then I can ever describe!! This pictures are in chronological order from when I got him until last nights parage!!

Where Do We Go From Here...

I've been thinking a lot about the horses lately, and it's occurred to me recently that maybe I have bitten off more then I can chew with them... I don't have as much time with the horses as I would like these days and with school coming up it's just going to get that much harder. The horses are my whole world and there is nothing I would love more then to become the rider I have always dreamed of being. I go to HITs and watch, I own a large collection of Eventing DVD's, I have my DVR set to record anything under the category of Equestrian. I watch all of these amazing teams, competing over meter 60 grand prix courses, doing canter pirouettes, jumping over solid tables that are wider then I am tall, and it makes me sad, it makes me question why I've put the last 24 years of my life into horses and haven't gotten any better, have never gotten past 2'3 jumps, have never ridden a cross country course or competed above a schooling level.

Then I look at my horses. I love them, I really do. But do I have the proper time to give them all what they need to get them all where they are capable of being? No, I don't. I have all of these goals for myself and the horses, but I also have school, I have work, I have dogs, and friends and a world outside of horses. Finding time for everything is difficult. Finding time for 4 horses is even more difficult. So I find myself at an impasse, do I try and make all of this work? Do I cut down on the number of horses I need to worry about? Do I give up my hopes of showing Penny and Rayna to focus on the much more promising horses I own in Albus and Jackson? Do I let Ollie be completely responsible for Penny and let Matt (who leases Rayna) be completely responsible for her until the time he doesn't want to lease her anymore? And then do I sell her?

There are so many unanswered questions and as I sit here typing I'm not really sure where do go from here. I don't know what to do. On Friday morning I'm trailing Jackson down to my trainers barn, she's going to ride him and see what she thinks and if he's worth continuing on with, I feel like he is, but he also makes me a bit nervous for absolutely no reason.  Ugh I don't know where I'm going with this blog entry at this point so I'm just going to end it here...

Losing Weight is NOT Your Life's Purpose

I've been thinking a lot about weight loss lately. I've been feeling worse about myself then usual and I'm not sure why. I've actually lost weight recently, and I've definitely been taking small steps to eating and being healthier. But... I had a realization this weekend. I went on a Hunter Pace, it was 10 miles long and the first one I've done (at a steady trot/canter pace the whole way) since I was 18 and that was 13 years ago. I was in much better shape then. The hunter pace was 2 days ago and I can still barely move. Every part of my body hurts. That pain has made be realize that, sure, losing weight is great but being in proper physical shape is far more important.

I want to be an eventer. I don't care if thats crazy, I don't care if I'm too old and too fat to pursue that dream... I'm going to anyway. I don't care if I don't have perfect horses or expensive training, I know I can do it. In order to accomplish that goal though I need to be stronger. I need to be able to canter/gallop over a cross country course with jumps accurately and effectively and right now I can't even canter in a field for 2 minutes straight without my legs cramping. From now on I'm not going to worry about the number on the scale, I'm going to focus on getting stronger for my horses and being a more effective and capable rider.

It doesn't matter if you're a size 2 or a size 22. If you're 130 or 300 pounds, as long as you love horses and you're committed to being the best rider that you can be for them, that's all that matters. Below is a photo of Albus and I at the hunter pace! I think we're starting to look the part of a real team, I think he's going to love eventing as much as I do!

It's Been Awhile

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog, almost 2 years to be exact which is crazy because I used to be so diligent about it! A lot has happened in the past couple of years, I can't write about all of it because it will take all night to type it out. The most important things to note are that I moved back to New York, I have an outstanding new boyfriend, and I have 2 new horses but I'm minus one mule. I'm still finding it very difficult to find time for all of my horses, and it's really frustrating me. I wish I could just ride all day but I do have to make money for my equine addiction and I made the terrifying decision to go back to school in January so I have that to look forward to as well.

I bought 2 new horses in the last 5 months. The first is a big white Percheron cross named Albus. He used to be a carriage horse. He was scared everything when I got him, especially scared of the sound of a whip. He has small thin scars on his face, and is entirely a huge emotional train wreck. He is also the most wonderful, fluffy, amazing creature I have ever know (maybe with the exception of my Phoenix) If I don't see him for more then a couple days he throws a hissy fit, he'll sulk in his stall and won't eat until I come and see him. I took him on his first hunter pace yesterday and he was an absolute super star! He's my heart horse.

My second newest equine acquisition is a big, skinny, bay thoroughbred named Jackson who I kind of bought on a whim. I bought him from the people who own the barn that I board at, they got him as a skin and bones rescue about 6 months ago. He's lovely under saddle, has some behavioral issues on the ground, specifically panicking and running backwards when girthed. He has no back muscle and very high withers that show the scars of a previously ill fitting saddle. I'm sure his intense reaction to being girthed has a lot to do with expecting pain, because thats when the pain used to come. My eventual goal for him is the hunter ring in a year or two but for now we're doing a lot of lunging and hill work to build muscle. 

Brrrrr....

It's cold... and there's snow on the ground... and I know I say I hate heat and "the cold never bothered me anyway" but this year it's bothering me! I just want to ride!!! I am so ready for spring. I am so ready for long trail rides, and late evenings at the barn, and pony bathes (god knows they need them!) and maybe even some shows!!! I feel like I'm finally on the right path with Rayna. I'm still not positive what I want my end goal to be with her, maybe dressage, maybe I can teach her to jump and we could do starter events (that would be my ideal goal), maybe we'll just do fun classes at shows and trail ride for the rest of her riding career. But I'm at the point right now where I'm not as worried about future goals as I am about what I'm doing with her right now. I've been watching a lot of videos and reading up on ground pole work and that's going to be our next en-devour, Later this week I'm going to head to the barn and set up some pole patterns in the indoor to work on. I can do them with Penny too, and eventually maybe with Sabrina.

I finally got on Sabrina, I've only ridden her once but it was awesome! She doesn't stop or steer, haha, but she's sweet and she's safe and that's what is important to me, once it warms up I'll start riding her more. She learned how to flip her tongue over the bit so she can't feel the pressure, which is something that Gus used to do too, so I'm going to dig up the flash strap thats in my tack trunk somewhere and try that on her to see if it will keep her from opening her mouth enough to flip her tongue over the bit. I'm hoping she'll end up being a nice trail mule, that's all I've ever wanted her to be, a safe, happy trail mount that I can ride and put friends on. Sabrina and Penny are starting their new joint supplement at the end of this month. It's call Pentosan and it's an injectable supplement that they will each get once a month. I've heard some amazing things about it and I'm hoping that with this new supplement, plus her new shoes and the Previcox she's on, that I will be able to get penny light jumping sound again. Like crossrails, I would be so so happy with just jumping crossrails.

I'm really hoping that by this spring/summer I will be able to finally get a horse trailer so I can start doing some serious off farm riding with all of my girls. I really want to do some shows, and go on trail rides and hunter paces with heather! Rayna and Heidi would be a great (slow) hunter pace team and I really miss hunter pacing!!

Go Confidently in the Direction of Your Dreams. Live the Life You've Imagined

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” 
― H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

 I have decided in this new year that nothing is going to keep me from achieving all of my dreams. I have been doing better with the horses this past month then I have in a long time! I have been riding consistently, both Rayna and Penny. They are both doing fabulously!! Penny still isn't 100% sound, I'm hoping she'll get there once she's consistently on joint supplements, she's in shape and she gets front shoes on. If after all of that she's still just a little bit off I will have the vet come out to make sure there's nothing underlying going on. But out in the fields she's sound, she's getting stronger, I can definitely tell that she's starting to get into shape, there's definitely a difference between how she looks now and how she looked when I first got her a month ago. I still have hopes and dreams of showing her a little later in the year, but if she just ends up being a trail pony I'm totally fine with that. She has helped me with my confidence and love of horses so much, I don't know how I could ever repay her, and she will stay with me until the end of her days.

As for Rayna I really couldn't be happier with her right now! She's getting in shape (thank you hot walker) she's much more willing to work and move forward, and listen, The new bit I got for her has made a world of difference, unfortunately it's not legal for dressage so I will eventually have have to either switch back to her old one or find a legal alternative that's somewhat close to what I have on her now. For now, though, I will continue schooling her in this bit because she's going so well in it, We've been working a lot on collection, extension, and bending. I haven't cantered her since she tried to buck me off at the canter a couple of weeks ago, I need to get myself into better shape before cantering her again. She's never going to learn to canter properly if I am too out of shape to ride the canter effectively. It's a big, difficult canter and if I'm too unbalanced to ride it, it's going to unbalance her and we'll never get anywhere. So it's walk/trot work for us, in the arena, in the fields, over poles and over small jumps. There are a few dressage shows coming up in the next few months and I really think we'll be ready to do into A and /or into B, I just need to figure out a way to get to the shows! And I really hope Rayna will be good in a show situation, she has never been in one before! 

Sabrina is starting her professional training this coming week, I am really excited and curious to see how it goes. We agreed that we will do 2 months of training max with her and see where she is after that. Hopefully she works out and ends up being a good, solid trail animal. I would hate to sell her but I can't afford an animal that is just a pasture pet right now. 

Looking Ahead! Hello 2016!

Well since we're only 4 days away from the new year I figured it was time to gather my thoughts and right down my horse goals for 2016.


Rayna: 

• Be more consistent in our rides. We will never accomplish any of our other goals if I can't get out there and ride her 4 to 5 days a week. 
• Get her feathers back to looking nice again and keep them that way this time to prevent scratches and other issues
• Get her bending and using her hind end consistently instead of her just rushing through the bridle when asked to turn or change gait. 
• Continue working on her mounting issues and fear of objects being put on her back. She was doing really well with consistent work but then I slacked off and the difference is obvious. 
• Ride her in 2 schooling and 1 recognized dressage show, riding in Intro A and/or Intro B

Penny: 

• Get her back in shape slowly. 
• Get shoes back on her and start getting her feet back in good shape
• Show her in a schooling show in the summer on the flat.
• Have her ready to take her to octoberfest at the horse park in either the green as grass combined test or a green starter horse trial. 

Sabrina: 

• Teach her to stand on crossties
• Teach her to stand for the farrier
• Figure out what she knows and what she doesn't. She'll be starting professional training as of the beginning of January, so we'll take it from there.
• Begin trail riding her.