Amber and I did not have a good ride today. I rode up to the indoor with Heather, and the indoor makes Amber nervous (or makes me nervous and in turn makes her nervous) Well we were up there for a bit and I just felt tense. So I asked Heather if we could go back down to the outdoor. So she left the indoor first and Amber followed well Amber started having a little temper tantrum that Heidi was walking away. I know I should have just relaxed and pushed her through it but instead I got tense and sucked back and took hold of her. So instead of continuing to go forward she started going backwards, sideways, throwing small bucks, and spinning. At that point my nerves were shot so I jumped off of her (which I know I should not have done, I understand this) and walked her the rest of the way to the outdoor where I lunged her for 5 minutes and then got back on and just walked her around for about 10 minutes focusing on relaxing and breathing, then rode her back down to the barn. I know that bad days happen but its days like this that make me wonderful if I'll ever get over my anxiety issues with Amber, and if we'll ever get back to where we used to be what seems like a million years ago...
I haven't spent much time with Rayna since she got to the barn. I'm hoping to spend some time with her tomorrow, depending on what time I end up getting to the barn. I'm not going to lie I am super nervous about getting back on her. I haven't ridden her in 2 months, easily. The last person on her was the owner of the last barn we were at, she was a star, I don't know why I'm so nervous about getting back on her. I got her a great new bit, and a new saddle and I think we'll be ok I just need to buck up the courage and just freaking get on her!
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